I'm posting the lyrics in this format because....well, it's easier. Ignore the dates I will just be adding a bunch so some may be many many years old and some may be brand new. If I ever come to use them they will probably also be edited and hopefully improved. Oh and I know most are depressing, I write to get stuff out so there's often not a need when things are ok, I'm not that miserable all the time I swear.

The Noise Inside

December 17, 2017

Just for a moment

I screamed so loud I heard the silence

and it seemed to know my name

It bore the weight of voices lost

that sing to me my name



They sing to ease the loneliness

that hides beneath the skin

The endless touch of helplessness

The pain that seethes within


and in that moment

I held my breath until a vision

showed me how to be at peace

I closed my eyes and lost myself

until the noise decreased




The noise that craved the loneliness

The noise became my sin

The shattered touch of silence lies

with noise that hides within


Embraced in silence

I didn't think I could survive it

as I felt my body fade

I should have died here long ago

and oh god knows I've tried



I tried to erase all the pain

I tried to quell the fears

but the noise that  had made me whole

laid claim to all these years


Static Breakdown

March 8, 2017

I am a one time habit

a valuable mistake

I am the poison in your bloodstream

an error in the system

A storm on the horizon

An ominous refrain

A challenge to insanity

A danger to the sane



I tried too hard to see

to find justification

I lost all that was me

Drowned in imitation


This is my last chance taken

A breakdown in the static

A nightmare hides in darkness

with terror for the witness

A comfort to the lost

who have seen the face of horror

To survive within this battlefield

no matter what the cost


Car Crash Carousel

March 8, 2017

Spiral sticky sound of sin

Reject the dirt I push within

Sharp spike scarred skin

Needles bite quiets the din


Silent scream so serene

Keeps the noise inside unseen

Smoke saturated sheen

of dying lights that guided me


Cerebral crushing car crash

Mistakes that we all amass

Chemical crisis creative clash

Victims to our own impasse


Cataclysmic cascades

a broken mind that can't evade

Christ's cracked conclave

Now you see we won't be saved


In Too Deep

November 28, 2016

Mistakes we made

raining down with blind regret,

apologies that were never said

Come back


to haunt our dreams

They burst forth from the darkness

run from the wolves you thought were harmless

Don't read


my unquiet mind

The trash that piles and rots within

where does it end and I begin

Just leave


my bare soul

The words I couldn't bear to hear

the thoughts that I have always feared

the past I couldn't run from anymore


As time folds

back on itself with blindfolds on

hiding from the things I've done

and now


I cannot take

the lies that cut with rusted blades

emotions hidden in the shades

I run


to an escape

This joy caressed by needles

The drug never was deceitful

and fall


to the shadows

Towards the bloodstained broken glass

that opens wounds that bare the past

The face I hoped I'd never see again

Chemical Promises

November 28, 2016


Hit the reset

Turn me down

Numb my brain from

all light and sound


I tasted freedom

I tasted flames

I witness cures for

the insane


(2nd person)

I heard your secrets

I heard your lies

The devil works best when

he lies inside



You heard my promise

but walked right through

From the things I say to

the things I do


Body fading

Blood I weep

A chemical promise

is the one I'll keep


End To End (unfinished)

November 28, 2016

We stand alone on this fragile earth

waiting for someone to save us from ourselves

from our selfish black needs

Nobody cares

about the poison we inflict on our home but we will never atone

and ever will we be free for as long as we hide from the truth

that will be our end


Watching and waiting

Alone in the end

Watching and waiting


The Fall

November 28, 2016

Sleep now

As the silence warms you

pain will finally disappear,

all the loss that scarred you

just fades


The black will hold you tightly

The dark will keep you down

Silence preserves your sanity

as you allow yourself to drown


As the gods abandon you

you've nothing left to hold you here

Let go of guilt that wasn't yours

and fall


Fall to bring your freedom

Fall to find your peace

Fall to end the suffering

Fall to your knees


The Meek

April 24, 2016

Turn around

Leave me to hide

I hear your screaming

deep inside


It never stops

to just let me be

to let some peace

comfort me


I try to run

but time is out

consumed within

unending doubts



Back off

Give me silence

Back off

 Leave me to myself

Back off

I fear the violence

Back off

I fear me



If you can't understand

then leave me here alone

and let me find myself

Let me forget what I have known


I came to you

to set me free

but what I need

is buried deep in me



If strength comes from forgiveness

then I'm happy to be weak

but when you betray a child's trust

you have no right to act so meek


Here's The Joke

March 6, 2016

Your ego holds it's longing

You justify your means

No matter who surrenders

You keep inflicting pain


You have no sense of reason

Why should you even care

Still blind to what you're lacking yet

they offered you a chance


Because you suffer loudest

You command everyone to see

to validate your martyrdom

but it's just pity don't you see?



Friend, when they opened their tightly defended mind

gave their trust while their heart was still so blind

Now they're reaching out with some deluded hope

Now they're reaching but not seeing that they're the joke


Now they're reaching out with some deluded hope

Now they're reaching but not seeing that they're the joke


Your claims that you're so caring

You believe in your own lies

The sad part is that others see

with your same clouded eyes


A shallow heart can fake it

to all but expert eyes

I just couldn't face that a friend to me

stooped to gossiping and lies


You became a lost cause

Too self absorbed for me

You'll never change, I know now

and it's time I let you go



In Silence

March 6, 2016

Speak in silence

to calm my mind

Avert the step

that leaves me blind

You lack the face

that shows compassion

Acting on

untrained reactions



I hear you

I feel you

taking over another part of me

I see you

and fear you

waking up the demons inside me


I held your secrets

I took your hand

Expected nothing (which was)

just as well and

trading parties

with warring minds

couldn't help you past

to see the signs



Keep your voice down

Keep the noise down

Don't disturb me when I'm screaming

Keep your voice down

There's too much noise now

It interferes with rational thinking


Bled in darkness

Scarred in mind

A product of

the most unkind

the most unwanted

the most maligned

Forgotten here

and left behind

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